Someday became a precious word to me.
It promised a life that I dreamed of, a life full of hope and faith and love.
A life that I hadn’t ever considered until I met my now ex-boyfriend.
Someday was ‘our’ word. A word we would bring up occasionally when we talked about the future we hoped to have. The children we (well, I) wanted to have, the house we wanted to have, the jobs we wanted to have. The life we wanted to live, together.
Obviously, it was short lived. My dream was trampled on, our ‘someday’ ruined for good. And when I have the courage I will burn the book filled with plans that I made for our someday. Plans that I spend hours working on, plans that were futile.
But I have hope that another will come and sweep me off my feet and bring me a new someday to look forward to.
I hope that someday, I will fall in love again, and this time it lasts.
Someday, I’ll meet the man who I marry.
Someday, I’ll have feelings that are truly 100% reciprocated.
Someday, I’ll have a man who is faithful to me and is faithful to God and loves Him more than he loves me.
Someday, I’ll look into the eyes of a man and know that he loves me for me. That he loves all of my insecurities.
My dishwater hair and my strange nose.
My acne and my stretch marks.
My pale skin and my low blood pressure.
My short fingers and my big feet.
My self-consciousness and my attitude.
Someday, my future husband will love all of me. And he won’t lie about it.
Someday, we’ll have the future I dreamed of.
Someday…can’t come soon enough.